Changes

Lately there have been so many changes to my life and at times it all feels so out of control. I know that things will work out and that I need to faith in the Lord but I do absolutely hate when things are out of my control.

Because it's late at night, I will save details for another time but I will say that some things are right on track for my future such as my horses and education. I still have no idea where I want to go next year but the tide has turned and it just might be Western Illinois, the school I promised myself that I'd never go to. Imagine that. But I may also be starting my business if I go there. There's pro's and con's.

Vaquera's back and doing phenomenal! We had a rough start but we're on track right now.

Lucky's greatttt. We broke our record again and came in at a 16.4 second pattern! We're getting there!!! :)
                            Big Barrel Race this Wednesday!!

Also, The Hunger Games.

Must see. End of Story. Addicted.

Peeta Mellark.<3

Responsible.

To add to my last post about being so blessed--that night my parents and friends threw me a surprise birthday party! I'm so loved. :)

Continuing on with life, there have, of course, been some good times and some hard times lately. I'm not going to dwell on the hard times that I've been having except for the simple fact that everyday gets better and I'm working on myself. I will be okay eventually and I accept that for what it's worth.

Moving on, there have been some amazing times in the past 10 days or so. Spring Break 2012 is officially over. It has made me come to realize that I'm so ready to be done with school or at least BHE. I love it here. I absolutely do and it has been the best decision I've made but it's time to be done. I'm ready to move on. Next chapter please!!

The good part about Spring Break being over is that Vaquera is backkkk!!! I'm so thrilled that she's here although I'm a bit nervous about how she's going to act. She hasn't even had a halter on in about 6 weeks. When she stepped off the trailer today she looked so nasty. As in, not only covered with dirt and other unnessessary particles, but she has like zero muscle and looks like a nasty mustang. She honestly looked like no one had ever touched her before soooo, with Kayla's help, I clipped her face up and cut her pastern hairs. I also trimmed her mane and tail so give it a more organized/polished look. Then she got a good long bath with conditioner too. She looks like a whole different horse thankfully except for the skinny-no-muscle problem which will change soon too. I just didn't want her going into class looking like I just brought her in from the pasture (even though I kinda did).
I'm thrilled to have her back and can't wait to work with her again!

Blessed.

Today I am so blessed.


There are not words to describe the feeling right now. This morning I woke with extreme anxiety because I knew of all my tests ahead--literally. We were timed today in my speed class, I had a huge test in history, and a final in my math class that I knew I was not prepared for. I was so down on myself for not being prepared and I should've known better. Although my talks with God are silent to the world, I know that he is still there for me in every moment. I gave a silent shout-out to the man above to help me get through this day. I had pretty much accepted defeat on my test and final but I knew that I could control my barrel race. Normally, I get really nervous before I make a run because, let's face it, I'm a perfectionist. I don't want to make a mistake or look like an idiot. Today I blanked. My mind was gone and so were all those voices in my head. I was calm and excited for the run and guess what happened? I set the BHE arena record for this year so far! 16.608 was my time! That absolutely made my day! I finally had the confidence that had been so elusive for me.


As if the barrel racing wasn't enough, I went to my next class knowing that nothing could bring me down after that. I was going to try my best on the test even if I knew it wasn't going to be good enough. Turns out, by a series of events including not having enough tests, I get an extra day to take my test! Tomorrow I will be prepared for the test! I simply needed the extra day.


Also, topping my day off was that final that I was dreading. I had decided to drop the class because I knew I was going to fail and didn't want it affecting my GPA. I went to the teacher and explained reasoning for my poor performance these last 8 weeks. She happily signed the papers, dropping me from the class without even lecturing me. I was, of course, a little disappointed in myself for my performance but I took the paper to Enrollment to finalize everything. I had made myself a deal that I would sign up to repeat the class these next 8 weeks. As things turned out, I wasn't in the 1st 8 weeks. I was originally enrolled in the 2nd 8 weeks already!!! I get my do-over & I'm going to make it count! :)