Personal Growth

During the past few months I have been striving to improve myself; my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I've been running myself low and I've known that this has needed to stop for quite some time. Last summer was a good indication of this: all I did was work and school and I didn't do the greatest and either of those. There's alot of things that I would love to change and this year I promised myself that I would. We are now closing in quickly on March and I am proud to say that I've stuck with my goals with only a few minor relapses. These are acceptable every now and then because that's normal.
  I promised myself only a few things for this year. These are the important things in my life currently so my goals are as goes:
-Spend as much time with my family as I can.
      To me this is so important after losing an entire side of my family in just a short year and a half. After going through that it makes a person realize just how much family means. Without them I don't know where I'd be. They are full of trials and tribulations but they are my support system, back-up plan, and I know they'll always love me, no matter what.
 -Dig deep with my horses.
   Horses are my passion, especially barrel racing and after today, roping. Horses always have been too. This is something that I've wanted to excel at since the very first ride I went on. This year marks the first time that I truly believe that I am capable of succeeding with the horses. I never really thought I would make it "big" or even have much talent but those years of hard work and dedication certainly do pay off. This year I'm going hard and not looking back.
 -Focus on school.
   This one's simple and self-explanatory. I know I'm smart so now I just have to actually do the homework and attend class.
 -Focus on myself.
   I've never been one to particularly like myself so this year I vowed to work hard on the body I want since I don't like the one that I have. It's not that I hate myself; I just think I could be better. In trying to physically improve myself, I've started working out and next week I begin tanning again. I miss tanning. Also, I cut my hair on a regular basis, now whiten my teeth, and try to "dress up" more often for school and public outings. Also this year, I promised to be more content with myself. This means no beating oneself up over the small things but rather changing the things that I do not like. I'm now better at turning my cheek to harsh words people may have for me, whether it be behind my back or to my face. Most importantly, I respect myself now to the highest degree. I am going to be something and I deserve to be treated like a Princess.

Much love! <3

Miss her and can't wait to have her back!

Over this...

I'm so over all of this. I already quit the diet. We all did though. Honestly, I felt like crap. Due to my ability to pass the heck out on a somewhat regular-but-hadn't-happened-for-a-year-until-last-week schedule and my low blood sugar (depends on the day), I opted for a different route. I was turning gray and feeling weak. I don't want to put myself in that position. That's not cool. Now it's on to fruits, vegetables, and yogurt balanced out with my workout schedule. Nothing drastic. I just have to do this.

& I'm very proud of myself; I already set up a study session for tomorrow night. Homework will be done! :)

Lucky is also getting a heck of alot better too. We had some nice runs today! Yay! My feet keep slipping out of the stirrups though. I really have to fix this. It cannot be happening while running barrels. No mas. Other than that, Donna seems impressed. Our times keep getting better too. We had a 19.74 on my last run which was before we fixed a few things and trained me better. Also, I haven't been pushing him at all because I want this all done right. No mess ups, no "oh wells", and no "ohh it's okay's."

Stress levels: maxed out.

Working on it...

Love this!

Day 1 of Diet Torture

Because I have been wanting to lose weight for like ever now and maybe the fact that I've gained like 10lbs. in 2 weeks, I have decided to go on a diet. I've researched alot of diets in the past and let's face it, I'm terrible on diets. I always get bored or it doesn't fit into my schedule. Either way, it never works out for me. Well this diet, thankfully, I've got friends who are also doing it with me. Brooke, Jt, and I started it today and tomorrow Tilly and Kayla are starting it. We are going to hold eachother accountable. I have promised myself that, no matter what, I will do this diet for at least 3 days. If I end up getting sick or not feeling well, weak, or anything such as, then I will quit it but of course these first few days will tough. Today hasn't been so bad until now. I'm starving. Any food sounds good. Even corn (i hate corn unless its on the cob).

Our diet/detox.
2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice, 
2 tablespoons grade B maple syrup,  
1/10 teaspoon cayenne pepper,  
water

That's it. That's all I get for 10 days.

Day 1- halfway complete. ugh.

I strive for this:

Just for Laughs

Taking a spin on things, I opted to go for some laughter this time around. Being serious all the time is wearing on me. My future will fall into place and I'll be okay. Florida is obviously going to work out somehow and noooooooo mas worries.

Soooo meaning as I got this picture posted to my facebook today, it's epicccc. End of story. Funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

:)

Valentine's Day

Although it's about 2 hours past Valentine's day, I'm still doing my blog on it for the day.
This Valentine's Day has been so immensely different from past ones yet it has proven to be the best Valentine's Day that I've probably ever had.  Even though this is the first Valentine's Day that I've spent without that special someone, I've recieved the greatest gifts ever; I've seen my true friends shine forth and I've been a true friend. Valentine's Day is not about the chocolate, flowers, or teddy bears; it's not even about that special someone/lover; it's about the people who truely love you for who you are. Words simply cannot explain the extent of which I am blessed. <3

Flowers from JT  :)

Flowers and chocolate from Justin :)

I think this speaks for itself.

& today, this is exactly what I did.

End of Story.

To take the Leap...

So because my everyday life isn't always the most interesting plus my inability to express my well-being through words of my own, I have come up with several quotes, pictures, and verses that can easily capture what my heart is trying to say.

This quote is one that I feel as though I need to hear every single day. It reminds me that risks are a necessary part of life. If I don't try something new then I'll always get what I've always got. It's perfect timing for me to have this quote because of my Florida plan.

This weekend I told my parents about Florida. I did it while eating at Perkins because I knew that my mom probably wouldn't cry in public. :) I still thought she was going to. After a few days to think about it, I think they're on board. The Florida Plan is my dream. Not only will I get to continue pursuing horses, I'll also have the opportunity to attend an excellent (and nationally ranked!!) school while living in such an incredible environment. I basically grew up in Florida and moving there had been a dream of mine. Of course, I never thought I'd actually do it and especially not for college but how can I pass this opportunity up? I simply can't. It's going to be so difficult to leave my family and friends but if they truly love me and care about me then they'll understand. This is what I've always wanted. No one can stop me now.

Self-doubt is evident right now and I cannot let it get to me. Can I really do this? Am I going to fail? What if it doesn't work? Then what? These thoughts constantly run through my mind, as well as the homesick ones and missing my family, the last few weeks before Tyler and Cassie's wedding, Austin's senior year; it's risking alot, but this is a risk that I need to take.

Big Decisions

Although at this exact moment I will not go into details, today Kayla and I made the decision that we are going to pursue Florida. It is not set in stone just yet; however, moving to Florida for school and our passion in the horse industry is the best option.

I wanted out of Monmouth; well, here it goes. Not only am I moving away, I'm moving to a different time zone too. It's going to be so hard to leave my family but I truly feel as though this is what I'm meant to do. God will lead me on the right path and I feel as though he has called on me to do something.