Moving On...

Buenasss,

Goodness, goodness, goodness. My life seems to spinning at a million miles per hour. I cannot believe that it's already the end of January! I find it so crazy to say that in 4 months I will be graduating from BHE. There's so much preparation left to do...including applying to schools.

My little Princess went home for the next 6 weeks. :( I miss her already.

Last weekend, while driving around Monmouth, it hit me. I love Monmouth, I really do, but as I drove around I couldn't help but think about how this is going to look 30 years from now. Am I going to be doing this for the next 30 years? Honestly, how amazing can a town look when you already know where everyone lives, what everyone does, who everyone's with, and so on? Pretty darn boring. I can't fathom being there for that long and knowing that much that nothing would ever really excite me again. I realized something very important right then. I need out. I need to get out of Monmouth, even just for a little while. I want to pursue my passion with horses. They are y life and my absolute dream job would be to be a pro barrel racer and win Rookie of the Year. How can I do that from Monmouth? I can't. Not right away at least. And what about all the distractions? Every guy in that town that I've found worth being with have proven to be assholes or douchebags, or run from us. I've got nothing but my family keeping me there. My family will understand if I go away and that's all I need: their support.

My decisions made: After July, I will no longer be living in Warren County, probably not even Illinois. Now where to?!





(&I changed the color of my wordsss!!!)

I don't care if I have to ride this bike; I'm getting away from Monmouth!

Also, I'm pretty sure everyone should have a picture like this at Wal-Mart.

There's a First for Everything...

There are simply no words for tonight. End of story.

It was an absolute blast but it ended with consequences, thankfully not for me. I thank God that he led me to a good decision as opposed to a questionable one.

There's a first time for everything; Tonight being: Taking a breathalizer test.

Epic.

                                        
                                           This stuff can get you in bigggg trouble.

New Year, New Friends, New Focus

Although we are not even a full month into this year, it feels as though this is the one that's going to make the difference. Already I am more focused on being me and the best that I know I can be. Letting go of my past has been something that has been so difficult for me. I do realize that I'll never be able to change it or escape it but it has always had a tendancy to catch me just when I think I've got everything under control. The past that I've tried to escape gets me every time. What I conclude from here on out is that I will never be able to actually escape my past, but I can accept it. I know I've made mistakes (haven't we all?) but I cannot let those mistakes dictate my life and how I react to situations that I will be faced with.

Regardless, my past isn't necessarily one that I want to forget. There are so many great memories that I am so fond of. I think that having a past and past mistakes can sometimes be the greatest learning tool. I'm of course one that "has to touch the fire to know it's hot." Having the past that I do allows me to make decisions that are no longer questionable; these are no longer out of ignorance but a choice.

My friends are my biggest support group (second only to my family of course!). Without them I
 have no idea where I'd be. Probably in some hole somewhere in a foreign place scrounging around for food. :)   Meeting new friends is easy, maintaining these friendships properly is the difficult part. Tonight it was so nice to go to the boys basketball game with an old friend, Sarah S., and a new friend, Morgan G.

To continue with horses, today I got to barrel race Lucky, a.k.a Rocket Dog. Although we had several errors by the rider (whoops), it was such a thrill! I'm so ready to get back into rodeo and do what I fell in love with eight years ago. Vaquera, my little Princess, is still here despite the fact that Donna is forcing her to go home. I do believe that I can get into the Intermediate Training class so Vaquera will be able to come back up in six short weeks. Can't wait! :) We have so much to progress with and I'm so excited! I'm ready for this.

Much Love. <3

I am so thankful for those that He brought into my life to help me on my path to happiness. It might get bumpy at times but I know that I'll never let go and I owe all my thanks to my friends and the Lord.

Future...Such A Scary Word

Buenaaaa ( Mi palabra favarita) ,


Last night I began working on applications to universities. It's insane to think that it's time for this all over again. So far my choices are: University of Florida, Oklahoma University, and Oklahoma State University. I've decided that I need to go off the school somewhere because I need to keep advancing in the horse industry. This is what I love. It's my passion and I want to fully take advantage of that. My absolute dream would be to go pro as a barrel racer but I know that's not realistic in the next 5 years and therefore I must decide on an actual career in the next 8 months. Im screwed.


What makes a ton of money, allows me to have enough time off for rodeos, and has great benefits?? A trophy wife. Ding, Ding, Ding!

This is my dream.

These are hopefully my ticket.

A Year Ago

Buenas mis seguidores!

Lately I've been thinking alot about my life- like deep thinking. I have some pretty big decisions to make here soon and I'm sooo not ready for them. I still am yet to decide where I'm going to school in the fall even. Do I move far away or stay near? Do I get to continue with horses or leave them for awhile? Gosh, sooo many decisions.

Along with thinking about life, I've been thinking alot about where I was a year ago and it's so crazy because it feels so long ago. A year ago I was still with Livi, the one person that I truly loved despite the fact that he treated me like total crap. On Thanksgiving last year I found out that he was cheating on me. This time last year we were getting better although I honestly couldn't forgive him for his wrong doings.

Also a year ago, I had Apache, Macy's huge paint gelding. He was alot of fun to ride even though I didn't know very much. I loved horses and still have a passion for them yet I was green. I didn't have the confidence \needed....

Barely any sleep? Sounds typical.

Buenaaaa mis ninos, amigas, y amores,

Tonight's update won't be very long of course since, as usual, I'm exhausted, it's around 1 a.m., and I have 8 a.m. class in the morning. Buttt, the point is, I've been in attempt to keep this blog every day. This will be difficult on weekends that I go home.

Speaking of going home, my little Vaquera is getting sent home. :(   Donna still thinks that my little princess isn't mentally ready for this stuff. There's definately some truth to those words but there's alot of unfairness in it too. Other horses that are way worse off than Vaquera get to stay yet she doesn't? Annoying. This is going to force me to go home alot these next eight weeks so that I can work her at home. She's doing so amazing. We can ride in an open pasture and everything. :)


That's enough of an update for now. I'm so tired. No mas de esta.

A key ingrediant that the human race is missing.

My Last First Day at BHE

Holaaaaaa,
   This morning was my very last first day at Black Hawk East. It's insane to think that eight years ago it was my dream to be at BHE. I had drempt of being on the horse judging team and having a horse here to learn on while getting my Associate's degree. Although the plan/schedule has changed a half million times, I wouldn't change it for the world. BHE has been the perfect fit for me. I have a family here that I will never forget even if we can't stay in touch. I would do anything for them. BHE has pushed me to reach outside my comfort zone and just do it. My dreams have become more of a reality than just dreams anymore.
 
It's sad to think that in just 5 short months I will be gone. I'm going to miss everyone so much. :(

Today was the first time I worked Lucky, the nasty looking thing I'm supposed to run barrels on. Although he's supposedly a great barrel horse, he is in desperate need of some TLC. I pity this horse so now it's my turn to take care of him and pamper him. Maybe pictures soon??

Well I'm off to bed since it's back to school tomorrow. Joy!

Hasta luego mis amores.

I find this so perfect for my entire life. I need to take more leaps. It's the only way to get somewhere you haven't been.

Short and Sweet

Just keeping things short and sweet tonight. To simply say that I have missed BHE is quite the understatement. Tonight reminded me that I do absolutely love my little family here. :)

This is going to be an amazing year.

Mi Vida para la Mes Pasado

I'm backkk! Christmas break is over and it's time for school again. In two days my butt will be glued to a seat and saddle. I'm ready for this semester though. It's going to be filled with so much more of my potiential.
   
Mi vida para la mes pasado has been quite an adventure, mostly due to a certain someone and a certain something.
-That certain someone cannot even be talked about at this point in time. I am so blessed to have been able to share a piece of my life with him and that's something I will forever treasure. He made me feel 'alive', a feeling that had been escaping me since April. Although he is no longer in my life, I appreciate what he unknowingly did for me and I thank the Lord everyday that He gave me this boy to remind me that it's okay to trust, believe, and hope for things that may seem out of reach.

That certain something is Vaquera. Although we certianly have had countless ups and downs with her, I absolutely adore her and cannot imagine a life without my little princess. Quera and I have made an incredible amount of progress over the past 5 months. She will continue to improve from the comfort of my pastures.

Mas Luego mi Amigas!
Mucho Amor.

Vaquera- September 2011