The past couple months have been so incredibly busy and so full of adventure, responisbility, and education. I've been working like a mad person, trying to save money for my future and possibly for my horses. It's been tough but I've also spoiled myself with some new wardrobe ideas, new horse things, and of course, makeup. I've taken a few trips, met alot of new people, and figured out my future. My older brother got married and the younger brother got his liscence taken away. As the holidays approach, I am quickly reminded of how much I have compared to others, how much I'm thankful for, and how much I need to appreciate the world around me. I stand in awe and sublimity.
The decision has been made. I'm moving to Texas at the end of next month to attend and judge at West Texas A&M University. I'm so thankful that I had the past few months to make that decision. I think that the wrong one would've been made otherwise. It's not going to be easy to move 900 miles away from home to pursue my passion of horses and barrel racing but I think that it's what I have to do in order to accomplish my dreams. I will be majoring in Ag Communications with a minor in Mass Communications and Animal Science.
:)
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Day 3-
Today is day 3- the final day of my diet this week. As of this morning, I am only down 2 pounds, which is somewhat depressing however, I do know that I have not been working out like it says you're supposed to. I worked out yesterday but I had also crumbles and had a mini-cupcake. So my working out probably only brought me back to normal.
Regardless, I am pleased to have known that I did this. I will continue with this diet for the rest of the day, then attempt it again next week for school as well. I can only hope that I do not gain the weight back. Even though I've only lost 2 pounds so far, I am hoping that it's the start of a very rewarding process. I will admit that I do feel better. I have noticed that I haven't needed my "sugar kicks." The coffee has been a very yummy treat and I find that I look forward to coffee at McDonalds each morning between classes. The meals have not been terrible and surprisingly they do fill me up. This diet does work, just not the "up to 10 pounds." Hopefully next week I can attack this with a vengence and lose more than 2 pounds. Something's got to change. I am almost to the point where I feel like something's wrong with me. I know that my food intake can't drop too much more because otherwise I won't be eating at all. My fat intake isn't all that bad aside from the days that I work. I work out of a regular basis too. Nothing's been changing for me. I can drop a few pounds here and there but nothing like I need to. It just doesn't make sense.
Regardless, I will keep trying. It's not going to happen overnight, although that would certainly be nice. My goal is to be down 30 pounds by December. That'd be perfect. I'd have a new body for my new life in Texas, so long as everything plays out like I want it to.
Regardless, I am pleased to have known that I did this. I will continue with this diet for the rest of the day, then attempt it again next week for school as well. I can only hope that I do not gain the weight back. Even though I've only lost 2 pounds so far, I am hoping that it's the start of a very rewarding process. I will admit that I do feel better. I have noticed that I haven't needed my "sugar kicks." The coffee has been a very yummy treat and I find that I look forward to coffee at McDonalds each morning between classes. The meals have not been terrible and surprisingly they do fill me up. This diet does work, just not the "up to 10 pounds." Hopefully next week I can attack this with a vengence and lose more than 2 pounds. Something's got to change. I am almost to the point where I feel like something's wrong with me. I know that my food intake can't drop too much more because otherwise I won't be eating at all. My fat intake isn't all that bad aside from the days that I work. I work out of a regular basis too. Nothing's been changing for me. I can drop a few pounds here and there but nothing like I need to. It just doesn't make sense.
Regardless, I will keep trying. It's not going to happen overnight, although that would certainly be nice. My goal is to be down 30 pounds by December. That'd be perfect. I'd have a new body for my new life in Texas, so long as everything plays out like I want it to.
Monday, August 27, 2012
This time is For Real.
Well it's time for a change again. This time its for real. I'm finally 100% sick and tired of dealing with my weight issue. Being in college, having surgery, and working at McDonalds has certainly taken it's toll on me. Last year I was 20 pounds lighter and still thought that I was fat. Now I look at those pictures and wonder what the heck I was thinking. I should've loved and enjoyed that body! Now its just causing me to have image issues and keeps me dwelling on the fact that I am no where near what I want to be. My goal is to lose 30 pounds by the time I'm done. 35 pounds would be so incredible but that's just a dream. I would be tinyyy at that weight. Like very little. But that's what I want. I know that people claim that it's better to have a little extra as opposed to being underweight, in case you get sick. I don't think like that. I would much rather be too tiny because then even if I do get sick then I can eat plenty. I know that I could- and have- eat the pounds on like a crazy person. Saying no to food is a very difficult task for me.
However, today marks the day that I'm going to do it. Let's be real here- I've tried all the diets out there. I tried not having sugar, cutting out soda and all other sugary drinks, counting calories, and even Body by Vi, which does work by the way, just not for my lifestyle. I knew that I needed a change, a big one too. I'm staying in college for the next two and a half years, still working at McDonalds for the next 6 months at least, and will forever love food. It's my brain that needs re-wiring. I wanted a "diet", more like lifestyle change, that was proven and possible. So, during all my hours on Pinterest, which I find more than incredible, I came across the Military Diet. This diet is proven (check!) because the military recommends it to recruits who need to drop a few pounds before or during Basic training. It's 3 days long and supposedly you can lose up to 10 pounds, which I don't believe. I did my research and the average person lost 5 pounds during those 3 days. You are to do this diet 3 days on and then 4 days off, which fits my schedule perfectly. I am going to do this diet for the 3 days a week that I go to class and then of course I need to be more careful with what I eat at work during the 4 days that I am not doing the diet. I weighed in this morning for my starting weight. It sucks if whated to know. I had breakfast already, well most of it since I had to stop at the store to pick up the other half of it. Soon I will finish the other half of it before my next class. However, I'm in McDonalds having a coffee and forgot to bring my spoon in. Tonight I'll weigh myself again to see if I've lost anything, which hopefully will be some pound-age!! Again, my goal is to lost 30 pounds, which if I can do that then I will be the happiest girl alive. 35 pounds would literally make my life.
I want to be clear that I'm doing this because I simply am not happy with the way that I am. It's hard for me to look in the mirror everyday and think positive thoughts about myself. I know that it's probably not as bad as I think but it's not good. I know that. I am tired of thinking negatively and failing with other diets so this time I am 100% committed. Yes, it's a little uncomfortable to not be eating my usual things, or even fruit. I am not wavering from this diet for anything. Suprisingly enough, I'm not even hungry yet. I've only had a piece of toast with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter. I think that water and coffee, which are obviously both allowed, will be my saving grace. I had no idea that coffee tasted this good. :)
As for now, I'm off to eat my grapefruit and attend my Earth Science lecture.
Fingers crossed!!
However, today marks the day that I'm going to do it. Let's be real here- I've tried all the diets out there. I tried not having sugar, cutting out soda and all other sugary drinks, counting calories, and even Body by Vi, which does work by the way, just not for my lifestyle. I knew that I needed a change, a big one too. I'm staying in college for the next two and a half years, still working at McDonalds for the next 6 months at least, and will forever love food. It's my brain that needs re-wiring. I wanted a "diet", more like lifestyle change, that was proven and possible. So, during all my hours on Pinterest, which I find more than incredible, I came across the Military Diet. This diet is proven (check!) because the military recommends it to recruits who need to drop a few pounds before or during Basic training. It's 3 days long and supposedly you can lose up to 10 pounds, which I don't believe. I did my research and the average person lost 5 pounds during those 3 days. You are to do this diet 3 days on and then 4 days off, which fits my schedule perfectly. I am going to do this diet for the 3 days a week that I go to class and then of course I need to be more careful with what I eat at work during the 4 days that I am not doing the diet. I weighed in this morning for my starting weight. It sucks if whated to know. I had breakfast already, well most of it since I had to stop at the store to pick up the other half of it. Soon I will finish the other half of it before my next class. However, I'm in McDonalds having a coffee and forgot to bring my spoon in. Tonight I'll weigh myself again to see if I've lost anything, which hopefully will be some pound-age!! Again, my goal is to lost 30 pounds, which if I can do that then I will be the happiest girl alive. 35 pounds would literally make my life.
I want to be clear that I'm doing this because I simply am not happy with the way that I am. It's hard for me to look in the mirror everyday and think positive thoughts about myself. I know that it's probably not as bad as I think but it's not good. I know that. I am tired of thinking negatively and failing with other diets so this time I am 100% committed. Yes, it's a little uncomfortable to not be eating my usual things, or even fruit. I am not wavering from this diet for anything. Suprisingly enough, I'm not even hungry yet. I've only had a piece of toast with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter. I think that water and coffee, which are obviously both allowed, will be my saving grace. I had no idea that coffee tasted this good. :)
As for now, I'm off to eat my grapefruit and attend my Earth Science lecture.
Fingers crossed!!
Saturday, July 7, 2012
2 Months Later...
Well, it's only been two months since I last wrote but I finally have internet and some time, since I'm waiting for my brother & his fiance because I'm the DD. Yes, my life is so much fun on a Friday night.
To begin updating would be simple. I've basically done nothing for the past two months aside from helping clean, rearrange, & paint the house and shed. It was driving me crazy so I got a job last week...at McDonalds. After my first actual day, I'm thankful to say that I think my love for the place is cured. I don't want to see another friggin french fry, although I'm awesome at cooking them. ;) The smell of the grease from the hamburgers makes me want to vomit, although it did at DQ too. Oh well, money's money and I need some. I've got alot of bills to pay coming up with the horses and possibly moving to Texas.
Countdown is on for pageant! Only two more weeks and today I got told that my dress, the one that I absolutely adore and always get compliments on, is what lost me the crown last year. I was informed today that I apparently won the interview portion and was high enough points-wise in every other division that I would've had the crown except that the judges thought my dress made me look plain. For starters, my dress is anything but plain however, since it was brown and gold, which matched my hair, they weren't thrilled. So now I have strict orders to find a new dress (in 2 weeks!) that is the same style but in jewel tones such as teal, eggplant, or jade. This is going to be quite the task! Keep your fingers crossed for the 21st!
Being away from all life's adventures and trials has allowed me time to think and look back on the things that have always been so dear to me. A few weeks I began to miss judging. Alot. I have toying with the idea of judging and the decision has been made. If I decide for sure to judge again then it will be at West Texas A&M. Because I have to finish my Associate's degree this fall at Carl Sandburg College, I won't be able to judge again until next fall. Although this is unfortunate, it will give me plenty of time to 1. Actually make a decision and stay with it. 2. Save money to move to Texas. Right now McDonalds is giving me enough hours that I should be able to make enough money to move but I also have 2 saddles that I need to buy for Lucky & P. Jill & Tristian are up this week and I have absolutely adored talking with Jill, especially tonight at Barn Crawl. Jill has invited me to live with her for awhile if I do decide to move to Texas. She thinks she can even get me a job near Dallas & find a place to keep P. I plan on staying with her for a long weekend this fall if possible. I know that I'm going to try to be down there towards the middle of December to ride back with Kayla for break. A 16 hour trip is too far to do alone. :) Hopefully I'll be able to make 2 trips down in the next few months. I need to talk with Pipkin about judging and get a feel for the school.
Hopefully the updating will continue but for now this is it. I'm tired and the partyers need to come home soon. Being responsible can be so boring sometimes but this is what I'm here for since I left the party early. :)
Insert picture here with your imagination since my hard drive crashed so guess who doesn't have any pictures left.
To begin updating would be simple. I've basically done nothing for the past two months aside from helping clean, rearrange, & paint the house and shed. It was driving me crazy so I got a job last week...at McDonalds. After my first actual day, I'm thankful to say that I think my love for the place is cured. I don't want to see another friggin french fry, although I'm awesome at cooking them. ;) The smell of the grease from the hamburgers makes me want to vomit, although it did at DQ too. Oh well, money's money and I need some. I've got alot of bills to pay coming up with the horses and possibly moving to Texas.
Countdown is on for pageant! Only two more weeks and today I got told that my dress, the one that I absolutely adore and always get compliments on, is what lost me the crown last year. I was informed today that I apparently won the interview portion and was high enough points-wise in every other division that I would've had the crown except that the judges thought my dress made me look plain. For starters, my dress is anything but plain however, since it was brown and gold, which matched my hair, they weren't thrilled. So now I have strict orders to find a new dress (in 2 weeks!) that is the same style but in jewel tones such as teal, eggplant, or jade. This is going to be quite the task! Keep your fingers crossed for the 21st!
Being away from all life's adventures and trials has allowed me time to think and look back on the things that have always been so dear to me. A few weeks I began to miss judging. Alot. I have toying with the idea of judging and the decision has been made. If I decide for sure to judge again then it will be at West Texas A&M. Because I have to finish my Associate's degree this fall at Carl Sandburg College, I won't be able to judge again until next fall. Although this is unfortunate, it will give me plenty of time to 1. Actually make a decision and stay with it. 2. Save money to move to Texas. Right now McDonalds is giving me enough hours that I should be able to make enough money to move but I also have 2 saddles that I need to buy for Lucky & P. Jill & Tristian are up this week and I have absolutely adored talking with Jill, especially tonight at Barn Crawl. Jill has invited me to live with her for awhile if I do decide to move to Texas. She thinks she can even get me a job near Dallas & find a place to keep P. I plan on staying with her for a long weekend this fall if possible. I know that I'm going to try to be down there towards the middle of December to ride back with Kayla for break. A 16 hour trip is too far to do alone. :) Hopefully I'll be able to make 2 trips down in the next few months. I need to talk with Pipkin about judging and get a feel for the school.
Hopefully the updating will continue but for now this is it. I'm tired and the partyers need to come home soon. Being responsible can be so boring sometimes but this is what I'm here for since I left the party early. :)
Insert picture here with your imagination since my hard drive crashed so guess who doesn't have any pictures left.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
The End...or the Beginning?
Two years ago I was walking down the center aisle of a unfamiliar gym to recieve a piece of paper stating that I had attended and passed high school. Two years ago that was the biggest and most important thing that could happen in my life. Two years ago I was quiet and lacked confidence. Two years ago I thought that I knew exactly what life had in store for me and what I was going to do with it. Two years ago, I couldn't have been more wrong.
Today I sit behind this computer screen and am unable to descriptively account to you how much has changed in the past two years. I can honestly say that I am a very different person from who I was back then. Almost everything about me has changed. I wish that I had time to explain the vast differences on the level that each deserves. For starters, I am unable to describe the love and devotion that I feel for my family; something that hasn't always been there to the length that it should've been. I mean it when I say that I miss them everyday that I am not there. I miss having dinner with them, movie nights, working cattle, discussing "inappropriate" things at the dinner table, and even just sitting in the same room. They have taught me so many of the things that a school cannot. They have shown me what hardwork is, what true love looks like, and why you have respect of others and for the earth. One of the most important lessons that they've taught me though is forgiveness. I have made mistakes. I have made many of them but no matter what happens I know that I can always go home, where I belong.
There's so much to say. I wish that I could explain the things that I feel.
Tomorrow is graduation at BHE. Although I am not actually graduating and won't be walking, it signals the end of this chapter of my life. I will no longer be a student at Black Hawk East, the greatest and most challenging place that I've ever experienced. Black Hawk has changed me drastically. I came here a quiet and relatively reserved girl that had few aspirations because I though that I wasn't good enough. Black Hawk and its trials have shown me that I can conquer the world, I can be something- whatever I want! Because of the incredible people that have touched my life, I have the confidence that I need to be successful. I now can honestly say that I believe in myself and my capabilities. I know the limitations that I have but they are not hindering. I can do what I set my mind to. I think perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all. Believing in oneself is something that cannot be taught, only shown. It can make or break a person. I am so thankful to have gained this in the past two years. Being on my own this year has only consecrated this.
For everything that I have done and will do in my future, I give thanks and appreciation to all those who have touched my life and fueled the fire within. I couldn't have ever imagined that I would have such amazing friends and a wonderful family. The people that I have met in the past two years will never be forgotten. These people know exactly who they are. Despite the fact that not all of the people I give thanks to are my friends but also be my nemisses, competitors, and haters. These people have also been so encouraging throughout the years by pushing me to be my best. They have challenged me in a whole new light. The friends that I talk of mean the world to me. They have been there for me through everything. I am so grateful to the Lord that he has brought certain people into my life to bring me to the place that I am today. I came to this school in a happy place and while here I have struggled between happiness, depression, and bouts of suicidal thoughts. My close friends are the ones who kept me content, sane, and alive. Without them I have no idea exactly where I would be today or if I would even be here at all, but I know for certain that it would not be where I am today.
As this chapter closes, I feel sorrow and uncertainy. This chapter has absolutely been the best of my life and I know for sure that I will never forget a single memory and will be telling stories from it for the rest of my life. I feel a bit apprehensive for my future but I know that it will all work out. I trust in the Lord that it will. I am excited for what the next chapter has in store for me. I can only simply hope that it will be comparable to what I have experienced in this chapter. <3
Today I sit behind this computer screen and am unable to descriptively account to you how much has changed in the past two years. I can honestly say that I am a very different person from who I was back then. Almost everything about me has changed. I wish that I had time to explain the vast differences on the level that each deserves. For starters, I am unable to describe the love and devotion that I feel for my family; something that hasn't always been there to the length that it should've been. I mean it when I say that I miss them everyday that I am not there. I miss having dinner with them, movie nights, working cattle, discussing "inappropriate" things at the dinner table, and even just sitting in the same room. They have taught me so many of the things that a school cannot. They have shown me what hardwork is, what true love looks like, and why you have respect of others and for the earth. One of the most important lessons that they've taught me though is forgiveness. I have made mistakes. I have made many of them but no matter what happens I know that I can always go home, where I belong.
There's so much to say. I wish that I could explain the things that I feel.
Tomorrow is graduation at BHE. Although I am not actually graduating and won't be walking, it signals the end of this chapter of my life. I will no longer be a student at Black Hawk East, the greatest and most challenging place that I've ever experienced. Black Hawk has changed me drastically. I came here a quiet and relatively reserved girl that had few aspirations because I though that I wasn't good enough. Black Hawk and its trials have shown me that I can conquer the world, I can be something- whatever I want! Because of the incredible people that have touched my life, I have the confidence that I need to be successful. I now can honestly say that I believe in myself and my capabilities. I know the limitations that I have but they are not hindering. I can do what I set my mind to. I think perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all. Believing in oneself is something that cannot be taught, only shown. It can make or break a person. I am so thankful to have gained this in the past two years. Being on my own this year has only consecrated this.
For everything that I have done and will do in my future, I give thanks and appreciation to all those who have touched my life and fueled the fire within. I couldn't have ever imagined that I would have such amazing friends and a wonderful family. The people that I have met in the past two years will never be forgotten. These people know exactly who they are. Despite the fact that not all of the people I give thanks to are my friends but also be my nemisses, competitors, and haters. These people have also been so encouraging throughout the years by pushing me to be my best. They have challenged me in a whole new light. The friends that I talk of mean the world to me. They have been there for me through everything. I am so grateful to the Lord that he has brought certain people into my life to bring me to the place that I am today. I came to this school in a happy place and while here I have struggled between happiness, depression, and bouts of suicidal thoughts. My close friends are the ones who kept me content, sane, and alive. Without them I have no idea exactly where I would be today or if I would even be here at all, but I know for certain that it would not be where I am today.
As this chapter closes, I feel sorrow and uncertainy. This chapter has absolutely been the best of my life and I know for sure that I will never forget a single memory and will be telling stories from it for the rest of my life. I feel a bit apprehensive for my future but I know that it will all work out. I trust in the Lord that it will. I am excited for what the next chapter has in store for me. I can only simply hope that it will be comparable to what I have experienced in this chapter. <3
Saturday, May 5, 2012
How The Time Flies...
Well it's only been,you know, a full month since I've updated this.You can only imagine how much my life has changed in the past month too. First, let me explain my reasoning for taking so long to update this blog; my laptop hard drive crashed. :( I lost everything. Not even pictures were saved. It seriously comes down to what pictures are on my computer at home, on my flash drives, or what's still on my memory cards,which isn't that much.
I'm just going to move from even to event quickly and then tomorrow I'll try to elaborate on them more.
- BHE Barrel Races---not quite as successful as hoped.
- I'm buying Lucky!
- Vaquera is going up for sale this summer.
- I will not be graduating on time with a degree.
- 2 more weeks of school!!
- I have kept up on my goals. - essentially I got my act together.
- I'm going to Western Illinois University!
- Chicago was absolutely amazing with my friends!
I took this picture last year on the Scenic Drive. This sign is in Knoxville, Illinois.
I'm just going to move from even to event quickly and then tomorrow I'll try to elaborate on them more.
- BHE Barrel Races---not quite as successful as hoped.
- I'm buying Lucky!
- Vaquera is going up for sale this summer.
- I will not be graduating on time with a degree.
- 2 more weeks of school!!
- I have kept up on my goals. - essentially I got my act together.
- I'm going to Western Illinois University!
- Chicago was absolutely amazing with my friends!
I took this picture last year on the Scenic Drive. This sign is in Knoxville, Illinois.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
There are just not enough hours in a day...
As the title says, there are simply not enough hours in the day. Sooo much to do!!
It's been a little while since I've updated this blog, which I mostly keep as a form of an online diary. Life has been so so so busy. I can't keep up. I go through each event one at a time. The past 9 days have been rough including: my saddle breaking, Vaquera getting lice, getting 2nd degree burns on my right hand, my car quit working one day, grades, etc. It's been a blast. Oh & Lucky is getting taken away from me this summer. How fun.
Speaking of Luckers, he's doing amazing since our last competitive barrel run. In practice we broke our record again, a 16.2!!!!!! I was so proud! :) However, he ducked out on the 2nd barrel twice at the barrel race that was here two weeks ago. Go figure. Dick. We were ballin' that night too. I was pumped and ready to set fire in the ring. He apparently wasn't. Yet, we did find out that last summer he was flipped over and ran into a fence at the 2nd barrel. Of course he probably didn't want to go to it. Oh well. Tomorrow night is our next race. It's Tough Enough To Wear Pink Night so let's hope we raise a bunch of money for breast cancer awareness!
So last Sunday, about a week ago, I noticed Vaquera's hair thinning. I thought it was odd but she really is shedding right now so I didn't think too much of it. Well she went pretty much completely bald within 4 days so on Thursday she went to the vet. She's got lice. Wonderful. All week I've been spraying Listerine (it's an antiseptic) on her and once a week she gets pour-on to kill most of it. It's mostly cleared up but she's pretty bald. All of her hair is dead. Even her mane and tail looks nasty and that's like my prized possession. For now she gets corn oil internally and olive oil externally. & she's got thrush so I'm treating that too. High maintenience much? jeeshhhh.
I do love her though.
Because it's 1 a.m. (like it usually is when I type these) I'm going to bed now. I need to quit staying up so late but tonight I just can't really sleep plus I haven't for the past 2 nights anyway due to nightmares and anxiety. I'm going to try it though!
Mas Amor. <3
It's been a little while since I've updated this blog, which I mostly keep as a form of an online diary. Life has been so so so busy. I can't keep up. I go through each event one at a time. The past 9 days have been rough including: my saddle breaking, Vaquera getting lice, getting 2nd degree burns on my right hand, my car quit working one day, grades, etc. It's been a blast. Oh & Lucky is getting taken away from me this summer. How fun.
Speaking of Luckers, he's doing amazing since our last competitive barrel run. In practice we broke our record again, a 16.2!!!!!! I was so proud! :) However, he ducked out on the 2nd barrel twice at the barrel race that was here two weeks ago. Go figure. Dick. We were ballin' that night too. I was pumped and ready to set fire in the ring. He apparently wasn't. Yet, we did find out that last summer he was flipped over and ran into a fence at the 2nd barrel. Of course he probably didn't want to go to it. Oh well. Tomorrow night is our next race. It's Tough Enough To Wear Pink Night so let's hope we raise a bunch of money for breast cancer awareness!
So last Sunday, about a week ago, I noticed Vaquera's hair thinning. I thought it was odd but she really is shedding right now so I didn't think too much of it. Well she went pretty much completely bald within 4 days so on Thursday she went to the vet. She's got lice. Wonderful. All week I've been spraying Listerine (it's an antiseptic) on her and once a week she gets pour-on to kill most of it. It's mostly cleared up but she's pretty bald. All of her hair is dead. Even her mane and tail looks nasty and that's like my prized possession. For now she gets corn oil internally and olive oil externally. & she's got thrush so I'm treating that too. High maintenience much? jeeshhhh.
I do love her though.
Because it's 1 a.m. (like it usually is when I type these) I'm going to bed now. I need to quit staying up so late but tonight I just can't really sleep plus I haven't for the past 2 nights anyway due to nightmares and anxiety. I'm going to try it though!
Mas Amor. <3
Monday, March 26, 2012
Changes
Lately there have been so many changes to my life and at times it all feels so out of control. I know that things will work out and that I need to faith in the Lord but I do absolutely hate when things are out of my control.
Because it's late at night, I will save details for another time but I will say that some things are right on track for my future such as my horses and education. I still have no idea where I want to go next year but the tide has turned and it just might be Western Illinois, the school I promised myself that I'd never go to. Imagine that. But I may also be starting my business if I go there. There's pro's and con's.
Vaquera's back and doing phenomenal! We had a rough start but we're on track right now.
Lucky's greatttt. We broke our record again and came in at a 16.4 second pattern! We're getting there!!! :)
Big Barrel Race this Wednesday!!
Because it's late at night, I will save details for another time but I will say that some things are right on track for my future such as my horses and education. I still have no idea where I want to go next year but the tide has turned and it just might be Western Illinois, the school I promised myself that I'd never go to. Imagine that. But I may also be starting my business if I go there. There's pro's and con's.
Vaquera's back and doing phenomenal! We had a rough start but we're on track right now.
Lucky's greatttt. We broke our record again and came in at a 16.4 second pattern! We're getting there!!! :)
Big Barrel Race this Wednesday!!
Also, The Hunger Games.
Must see. End of Story. Addicted.
Peeta Mellark.<3
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Responsible.
To add to my last post about being so blessed--that night my parents and friends threw me a surprise birthday party! I'm so loved. :)
Continuing on with life, there have, of course, been some good times and some hard times lately. I'm not going to dwell on the hard times that I've been having except for the simple fact that everyday gets better and I'm working on myself. I will be okay eventually and I accept that for what it's worth.
Moving on, there have been some amazing times in the past 10 days or so. Spring Break 2012 is officially over. It has made me come to realize that I'm so ready to be done with school or at least BHE. I love it here. I absolutely do and it has been the best decision I've made but it's time to be done. I'm ready to move on. Next chapter please!!
The good part about Spring Break being over is that Vaquera is backkkk!!! I'm so thrilled that she's here although I'm a bit nervous about how she's going to act. She hasn't even had a halter on in about 6 weeks. When she stepped off the trailer today she looked so nasty. As in, not only covered with dirt and other unnessessary particles, but she has like zero muscle and looks like a nasty mustang. She honestly looked like no one had ever touched her before soooo, with Kayla's help, I clipped her face up and cut her pastern hairs. I also trimmed her mane and tail so give it a more organized/polished look. Then she got a good long bath with conditioner too. She looks like a whole different horse thankfully except for the skinny-no-muscle problem which will change soon too. I just didn't want her going into class looking like I just brought her in from the pasture (even though I kinda did).
I'm thrilled to have her back and can't wait to work with her again!
Continuing on with life, there have, of course, been some good times and some hard times lately. I'm not going to dwell on the hard times that I've been having except for the simple fact that everyday gets better and I'm working on myself. I will be okay eventually and I accept that for what it's worth.
Moving on, there have been some amazing times in the past 10 days or so. Spring Break 2012 is officially over. It has made me come to realize that I'm so ready to be done with school or at least BHE. I love it here. I absolutely do and it has been the best decision I've made but it's time to be done. I'm ready to move on. Next chapter please!!
The good part about Spring Break being over is that Vaquera is backkkk!!! I'm so thrilled that she's here although I'm a bit nervous about how she's going to act. She hasn't even had a halter on in about 6 weeks. When she stepped off the trailer today she looked so nasty. As in, not only covered with dirt and other unnessessary particles, but she has like zero muscle and looks like a nasty mustang. She honestly looked like no one had ever touched her before soooo, with Kayla's help, I clipped her face up and cut her pastern hairs. I also trimmed her mane and tail so give it a more organized/polished look. Then she got a good long bath with conditioner too. She looks like a whole different horse thankfully except for the skinny-no-muscle problem which will change soon too. I just didn't want her going into class looking like I just brought her in from the pasture (even though I kinda did).
I'm thrilled to have her back and can't wait to work with her again!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Blessed.
Today I am so blessed.
There are not words to describe the feeling right now. This morning I woke with extreme anxiety because I knew of all my tests ahead--literally. We were timed today in my speed class, I had a huge test in history, and a final in my math class that I knew I was not prepared for. I was so down on myself for not being prepared and I should've known better. Although my talks with God are silent to the world, I know that he is still there for me in every moment. I gave a silent shout-out to the man above to help me get through this day. I had pretty much accepted defeat on my test and final but I knew that I could control my barrel race. Normally, I get really nervous before I make a run because, let's face it, I'm a perfectionist. I don't want to make a mistake or look like an idiot. Today I blanked. My mind was gone and so were all those voices in my head. I was calm and excited for the run and guess what happened? I set the BHE arena record for this year so far! 16.608 was my time! That absolutely made my day! I finally had the confidence that had been so elusive for me.
As if the barrel racing wasn't enough, I went to my next class knowing that nothing could bring me down after that. I was going to try my best on the test even if I knew it wasn't going to be good enough. Turns out, by a series of events including not having enough tests, I get an extra day to take my test! Tomorrow I will be prepared for the test! I simply needed the extra day.
Also, topping my day off was that final that I was dreading. I had decided to drop the class because I knew I was going to fail and didn't want it affecting my GPA. I went to the teacher and explained reasoning for my poor performance these last 8 weeks. She happily signed the papers, dropping me from the class without even lecturing me. I was, of course, a little disappointed in myself for my performance but I took the paper to Enrollment to finalize everything. I had made myself a deal that I would sign up to repeat the class these next 8 weeks. As things turned out, I wasn't in the 1st 8 weeks. I was originally enrolled in the 2nd 8 weeks already!!! I get my do-over & I'm going to make it count! :)
There are not words to describe the feeling right now. This morning I woke with extreme anxiety because I knew of all my tests ahead--literally. We were timed today in my speed class, I had a huge test in history, and a final in my math class that I knew I was not prepared for. I was so down on myself for not being prepared and I should've known better. Although my talks with God are silent to the world, I know that he is still there for me in every moment. I gave a silent shout-out to the man above to help me get through this day. I had pretty much accepted defeat on my test and final but I knew that I could control my barrel race. Normally, I get really nervous before I make a run because, let's face it, I'm a perfectionist. I don't want to make a mistake or look like an idiot. Today I blanked. My mind was gone and so were all those voices in my head. I was calm and excited for the run and guess what happened? I set the BHE arena record for this year so far! 16.608 was my time! That absolutely made my day! I finally had the confidence that had been so elusive for me.
As if the barrel racing wasn't enough, I went to my next class knowing that nothing could bring me down after that. I was going to try my best on the test even if I knew it wasn't going to be good enough. Turns out, by a series of events including not having enough tests, I get an extra day to take my test! Tomorrow I will be prepared for the test! I simply needed the extra day.
Also, topping my day off was that final that I was dreading. I had decided to drop the class because I knew I was going to fail and didn't want it affecting my GPA. I went to the teacher and explained reasoning for my poor performance these last 8 weeks. She happily signed the papers, dropping me from the class without even lecturing me. I was, of course, a little disappointed in myself for my performance but I took the paper to Enrollment to finalize everything. I had made myself a deal that I would sign up to repeat the class these next 8 weeks. As things turned out, I wasn't in the 1st 8 weeks. I was originally enrolled in the 2nd 8 weeks already!!! I get my do-over & I'm going to make it count! :)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Personal Growth
During the past few months I have been striving to improve myself; my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I've been running myself low and I've known that this has needed to stop for quite some time. Last summer was a good indication of this: all I did was work and school and I didn't do the greatest and either of those. There's alot of things that I would love to change and this year I promised myself that I would. We are now closing in quickly on March and I am proud to say that I've stuck with my goals with only a few minor relapses. These are acceptable every now and then because that's normal.
I promised myself only a few things for this year. These are the important things in my life currently so my goals are as goes:
-Spend as much time with my family as I can.
To me this is so important after losing an entire side of my family in just a short year and a half. After going through that it makes a person realize just how much family means. Without them I don't know where I'd be. They are full of trials and tribulations but they are my support system, back-up plan, and I know they'll always love me, no matter what.
-Dig deep with my horses.
Horses are my passion, especially barrel racing and after today, roping. Horses always have been too. This is something that I've wanted to excel at since the very first ride I went on. This year marks the first time that I truly believe that I am capable of succeeding with the horses. I never really thought I would make it "big" or even have much talent but those years of hard work and dedication certainly do pay off. This year I'm going hard and not looking back.
-Focus on school.
This one's simple and self-explanatory. I know I'm smart so now I just have to actually do the homework and attend class.
-Focus on myself.
I've never been one to particularly like myself so this year I vowed to work hard on the body I want since I don't like the one that I have. It's not that I hate myself; I just think I could be better. In trying to physically improve myself, I've started working out and next week I begin tanning again. I miss tanning. Also, I cut my hair on a regular basis, now whiten my teeth, and try to "dress up" more often for school and public outings. Also this year, I promised to be more content with myself. This means no beating oneself up over the small things but rather changing the things that I do not like. I'm now better at turning my cheek to harsh words people may have for me, whether it be behind my back or to my face. Most importantly, I respect myself now to the highest degree. I am going to be something and I deserve to be treated like a Princess.
Much love! <3
I promised myself only a few things for this year. These are the important things in my life currently so my goals are as goes:
-Spend as much time with my family as I can.
To me this is so important after losing an entire side of my family in just a short year and a half. After going through that it makes a person realize just how much family means. Without them I don't know where I'd be. They are full of trials and tribulations but they are my support system, back-up plan, and I know they'll always love me, no matter what.
-Dig deep with my horses.
Horses are my passion, especially barrel racing and after today, roping. Horses always have been too. This is something that I've wanted to excel at since the very first ride I went on. This year marks the first time that I truly believe that I am capable of succeeding with the horses. I never really thought I would make it "big" or even have much talent but those years of hard work and dedication certainly do pay off. This year I'm going hard and not looking back.
-Focus on school.
This one's simple and self-explanatory. I know I'm smart so now I just have to actually do the homework and attend class.
-Focus on myself.
I've never been one to particularly like myself so this year I vowed to work hard on the body I want since I don't like the one that I have. It's not that I hate myself; I just think I could be better. In trying to physically improve myself, I've started working out and next week I begin tanning again. I miss tanning. Also, I cut my hair on a regular basis, now whiten my teeth, and try to "dress up" more often for school and public outings. Also this year, I promised to be more content with myself. This means no beating oneself up over the small things but rather changing the things that I do not like. I'm now better at turning my cheek to harsh words people may have for me, whether it be behind my back or to my face. Most importantly, I respect myself now to the highest degree. I am going to be something and I deserve to be treated like a Princess.
Much love! <3
Miss her and can't wait to have her back!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Over this...
I'm so over all of this. I already quit the diet. We all did though. Honestly, I felt like crap. Due to my ability to pass the heck out on a somewhat regular-but-hadn't-happened-for-a-year-until-last-week schedule and my low blood sugar (depends on the day), I opted for a different route. I was turning gray and feeling weak. I don't want to put myself in that position. That's not cool. Now it's on to fruits, vegetables, and yogurt balanced out with my workout schedule. Nothing drastic. I just have to do this.
& I'm very proud of myself; I already set up a study session for tomorrow night. Homework will be done! :)
Lucky is also getting a heck of alot better too. We had some nice runs today! Yay! My feet keep slipping out of the stirrups though. I really have to fix this. It cannot be happening while running barrels. No mas. Other than that, Donna seems impressed. Our times keep getting better too. We had a 19.74 on my last run which was before we fixed a few things and trained me better. Also, I haven't been pushing him at all because I want this all done right. No mess ups, no "oh wells", and no "ohh it's okay's."
Stress levels: maxed out.
Working on it...
& I'm very proud of myself; I already set up a study session for tomorrow night. Homework will be done! :)
Lucky is also getting a heck of alot better too. We had some nice runs today! Yay! My feet keep slipping out of the stirrups though. I really have to fix this. It cannot be happening while running barrels. No mas. Other than that, Donna seems impressed. Our times keep getting better too. We had a 19.74 on my last run which was before we fixed a few things and trained me better. Also, I haven't been pushing him at all because I want this all done right. No mess ups, no "oh wells", and no "ohh it's okay's."
Stress levels: maxed out.
Working on it...
Love this!
Day 1 of Diet Torture
Because I have been wanting to lose weight for like ever now and maybe the fact that I've gained like 10lbs. in 2 weeks, I have decided to go on a diet. I've researched alot of diets in the past and let's face it, I'm terrible on diets. I always get bored or it doesn't fit into my schedule. Either way, it never works out for me. Well this diet, thankfully, I've got friends who are also doing it with me. Brooke, Jt, and I started it today and tomorrow Tilly and Kayla are starting it. We are going to hold eachother accountable. I have promised myself that, no matter what, I will do this diet for at least 3 days. If I end up getting sick or not feeling well, weak, or anything such as, then I will quit it but of course these first few days will tough. Today hasn't been so bad until now. I'm starving. Any food sounds good. Even corn (i hate corn unless its on the cob).
Our diet/detox.
2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice,
2 tablespoons grade B maple syrup,
1/10 teaspoon cayenne pepper,
water
That's it. That's all I get for 10 days.
Day 1- halfway complete. ugh.
I strive for this:
Our diet/detox.
2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice,
2 tablespoons grade B maple syrup,
1/10 teaspoon cayenne pepper,
water
That's it. That's all I get for 10 days.
Day 1- halfway complete. ugh.
I strive for this:
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Just for Laughs
Taking a spin on things, I opted to go for some laughter this time around. Being serious all the time is wearing on me. My future will fall into place and I'll be okay. Florida is obviously going to work out somehow and noooooooo mas worries.
Soooo meaning as I got this picture posted to my facebook today, it's epicccc. End of story. Funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
:)
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day
Although it's about 2 hours past Valentine's day, I'm still doing my blog on it for the day.
This Valentine's Day has been so immensely different from past ones yet it has proven to be the best Valentine's Day that I've probably ever had. Even though this is the first Valentine's Day that I've spent without that special someone, I've recieved the greatest gifts ever; I've seen my true friends shine forth and I've been a true friend. Valentine's Day is not about the chocolate, flowers, or teddy bears; it's not even about that special someone/lover; it's about the people who truely love you for who you are. Words simply cannot explain the extent of which I am blessed. <3
This Valentine's Day has been so immensely different from past ones yet it has proven to be the best Valentine's Day that I've probably ever had. Even though this is the first Valentine's Day that I've spent without that special someone, I've recieved the greatest gifts ever; I've seen my true friends shine forth and I've been a true friend. Valentine's Day is not about the chocolate, flowers, or teddy bears; it's not even about that special someone/lover; it's about the people who truely love you for who you are. Words simply cannot explain the extent of which I am blessed. <3
Flowers from JT :)
Flowers and chocolate from Justin :)
Sunday, February 12, 2012
To take the Leap...
So because my everyday life isn't always the most interesting plus my inability to express my well-being through words of my own, I have come up with several quotes, pictures, and verses that can easily capture what my heart is trying to say.
This quote is one that I feel as though I need to hear every single day. It reminds me that risks are a necessary part of life. If I don't try something new then I'll always get what I've always got. It's perfect timing for me to have this quote because of my Florida plan.
This weekend I told my parents about Florida. I did it while eating at Perkins because I knew that my mom probably wouldn't cry in public. :) I still thought she was going to. After a few days to think about it, I think they're on board. The Florida Plan is my dream. Not only will I get to continue pursuing horses, I'll also have the opportunity to attend an excellent (and nationally ranked!!) school while living in such an incredible environment. I basically grew up in Florida and moving there had been a dream of mine. Of course, I never thought I'd actually do it and especially not for college but how can I pass this opportunity up? I simply can't. It's going to be so difficult to leave my family and friends but if they truly love me and care about me then they'll understand. This is what I've always wanted. No one can stop me now.
Self-doubt is evident right now and I cannot let it get to me. Can I really do this? Am I going to fail? What if it doesn't work? Then what? These thoughts constantly run through my mind, as well as the homesick ones and missing my family, the last few weeks before Tyler and Cassie's wedding, Austin's senior year; it's risking alot, but this is a risk that I need to take.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Big Decisions
Although at this exact moment I will not go into details, today Kayla and I made the decision that we are going to pursue Florida. It is not set in stone just yet; however, moving to Florida for school and our passion in the horse industry is the best option.
I wanted out of Monmouth; well, here it goes. Not only am I moving away, I'm moving to a different time zone too. It's going to be so hard to leave my family but I truly feel as though this is what I'm meant to do. God will lead me on the right path and I feel as though he has called on me to do something.
I wanted out of Monmouth; well, here it goes. Not only am I moving away, I'm moving to a different time zone too. It's going to be so hard to leave my family but I truly feel as though this is what I'm meant to do. God will lead me on the right path and I feel as though he has called on me to do something.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Moving On...
Buenasss,
Goodness, goodness, goodness. My life seems to spinning at a million miles per hour. I cannot believe that it's already the end of January! I find it so crazy to say that in 4 months I will be graduating from BHE. There's so much preparation left to do...including applying to schools.
My little Princess went home for the next 6 weeks. :( I miss her already.
Last weekend, while driving around Monmouth, it hit me. I love Monmouth, I really do, but as I drove around I couldn't help but think about how this is going to look 30 years from now. Am I going to be doing this for the next 30 years? Honestly, how amazing can a town look when you already know where everyone lives, what everyone does, who everyone's with, and so on? Pretty darn boring. I can't fathom being there for that long and knowing that much that nothing would ever really excite me again. I realized something very important right then. I need out. I need to get out of Monmouth, even just for a little while. I want to pursue my passion with horses. They are y life and my absolute dream job would be to be a pro barrel racer and win Rookie of the Year. How can I do that from Monmouth? I can't. Not right away at least. And what about all the distractions? Every guy in that town that I've found worth being with have proven to be assholes or douchebags, or run from us. I've got nothing but my family keeping me there. My family will understand if I go away and that's all I need: their support.
My decisions made: After July, I will no longer be living in Warren County, probably not even Illinois. Now where to?!
(&I changed the color of my wordsss!!!)
Goodness, goodness, goodness. My life seems to spinning at a million miles per hour. I cannot believe that it's already the end of January! I find it so crazy to say that in 4 months I will be graduating from BHE. There's so much preparation left to do...including applying to schools.
My little Princess went home for the next 6 weeks. :( I miss her already.
Last weekend, while driving around Monmouth, it hit me. I love Monmouth, I really do, but as I drove around I couldn't help but think about how this is going to look 30 years from now. Am I going to be doing this for the next 30 years? Honestly, how amazing can a town look when you already know where everyone lives, what everyone does, who everyone's with, and so on? Pretty darn boring. I can't fathom being there for that long and knowing that much that nothing would ever really excite me again. I realized something very important right then. I need out. I need to get out of Monmouth, even just for a little while. I want to pursue my passion with horses. They are y life and my absolute dream job would be to be a pro barrel racer and win Rookie of the Year. How can I do that from Monmouth? I can't. Not right away at least. And what about all the distractions? Every guy in that town that I've found worth being with have proven to be assholes or douchebags, or run from us. I've got nothing but my family keeping me there. My family will understand if I go away and that's all I need: their support.
My decisions made: After July, I will no longer be living in Warren County, probably not even Illinois. Now where to?!
(&I changed the color of my wordsss!!!)
I don't care if I have to ride this bike; I'm getting away from Monmouth!
Also, I'm pretty sure everyone should have a picture like this at Wal-Mart.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
There's a First for Everything...
There are simply no words for tonight. End of story.
It was an absolute blast but it ended with consequences, thankfully not for me. I thank God that he led me to a good decision as opposed to a questionable one.
There's a first time for everything; Tonight being: Taking a breathalizer test.
Epic.
This stuff can get you in bigggg trouble.
It was an absolute blast but it ended with consequences, thankfully not for me. I thank God that he led me to a good decision as opposed to a questionable one.
There's a first time for everything; Tonight being: Taking a breathalizer test.
Epic.
This stuff can get you in bigggg trouble.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
New Year, New Friends, New Focus
Although we are not even a full month into this year, it feels as though this is the one that's going to make the difference. Already I am more focused on being me and the best that I know I can be. Letting go of my past has been something that has been so difficult for me. I do realize that I'll never be able to change it or escape it but it has always had a tendancy to catch me just when I think I've got everything under control. The past that I've tried to escape gets me every time. What I conclude from here on out is that I will never be able to actually escape my past, but I can accept it. I know I've made mistakes (haven't we all?) but I cannot let those mistakes dictate my life and how I react to situations that I will be faced with.
Regardless, my past isn't necessarily one that I want to forget. There are so many great memories that I am so fond of. I think that having a past and past mistakes can sometimes be the greatest learning tool. I'm of course one that "has to touch the fire to know it's hot." Having the past that I do allows me to make decisions that are no longer questionable; these are no longer out of ignorance but a choice.
My friends are my biggest support group (second only to my family of course!). Without them I
have no idea where I'd be. Probably in some hole somewhere in a foreign place scrounging around for food. :) Meeting new friends is easy, maintaining these friendships properly is the difficult part. Tonight it was so nice to go to the boys basketball game with an old friend, Sarah S., and a new friend, Morgan G.
To continue with horses, today I got to barrel race Lucky, a.k.a Rocket Dog. Although we had several errors by the rider (whoops), it was such a thrill! I'm so ready to get back into rodeo and do what I fell in love with eight years ago. Vaquera, my little Princess, is still here despite the fact that Donna is forcing her to go home. I do believe that I can get into the Intermediate Training class so Vaquera will be able to come back up in six short weeks. Can't wait! :) We have so much to progress with and I'm so excited! I'm ready for this.
Much Love. <3
Regardless, my past isn't necessarily one that I want to forget. There are so many great memories that I am so fond of. I think that having a past and past mistakes can sometimes be the greatest learning tool. I'm of course one that "has to touch the fire to know it's hot." Having the past that I do allows me to make decisions that are no longer questionable; these are no longer out of ignorance but a choice.
My friends are my biggest support group (second only to my family of course!). Without them I
have no idea where I'd be. Probably in some hole somewhere in a foreign place scrounging around for food. :) Meeting new friends is easy, maintaining these friendships properly is the difficult part. Tonight it was so nice to go to the boys basketball game with an old friend, Sarah S., and a new friend, Morgan G.
To continue with horses, today I got to barrel race Lucky, a.k.a Rocket Dog. Although we had several errors by the rider (whoops), it was such a thrill! I'm so ready to get back into rodeo and do what I fell in love with eight years ago. Vaquera, my little Princess, is still here despite the fact that Donna is forcing her to go home. I do believe that I can get into the Intermediate Training class so Vaquera will be able to come back up in six short weeks. Can't wait! :) We have so much to progress with and I'm so excited! I'm ready for this.
Much Love. <3
I am so thankful for those that He brought into my life to help me on my path to happiness. It might get bumpy at times but I know that I'll never let go and I owe all my thanks to my friends and the Lord.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Future...Such A Scary Word
Buenaaaa ( Mi palabra favarita) ,
Last night I began working on applications to universities. It's insane to think that it's time for this all over again. So far my choices are: University of Florida, Oklahoma University, and Oklahoma State University. I've decided that I need to go off the school somewhere because I need to keep advancing in the horse industry. This is what I love. It's my passion and I want to fully take advantage of that. My absolute dream would be to go pro as a barrel racer but I know that's not realistic in the next 5 years and therefore I must decide on an actual career in the next 8 months. Im screwed.
What makes a ton of money, allows me to have enough time off for rodeos, and has great benefits?? A trophy wife. Ding, Ding, Ding!
Last night I began working on applications to universities. It's insane to think that it's time for this all over again. So far my choices are: University of Florida, Oklahoma University, and Oklahoma State University. I've decided that I need to go off the school somewhere because I need to keep advancing in the horse industry. This is what I love. It's my passion and I want to fully take advantage of that. My absolute dream would be to go pro as a barrel racer but I know that's not realistic in the next 5 years and therefore I must decide on an actual career in the next 8 months. Im screwed.
What makes a ton of money, allows me to have enough time off for rodeos, and has great benefits?? A trophy wife. Ding, Ding, Ding!
This is my dream.
These are hopefully my ticket.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
A Year Ago
Buenas mis seguidores!
Lately I've been thinking alot about my life- like deep thinking. I have some pretty big decisions to make here soon and I'm sooo not ready for them. I still am yet to decide where I'm going to school in the fall even. Do I move far away or stay near? Do I get to continue with horses or leave them for awhile? Gosh, sooo many decisions.
Along with thinking about life, I've been thinking alot about where I was a year ago and it's so crazy because it feels so long ago. A year ago I was still with Livi, the one person that I truly loved despite the fact that he treated me like total crap. On Thanksgiving last year I found out that he was cheating on me. This time last year we were getting better although I honestly couldn't forgive him for his wrong doings.
Also a year ago, I had Apache, Macy's huge paint gelding. He was alot of fun to ride even though I didn't know very much. I loved horses and still have a passion for them yet I was green. I didn't have the confidence \needed....
Lately I've been thinking alot about my life- like deep thinking. I have some pretty big decisions to make here soon and I'm sooo not ready for them. I still am yet to decide where I'm going to school in the fall even. Do I move far away or stay near? Do I get to continue with horses or leave them for awhile? Gosh, sooo many decisions.
Along with thinking about life, I've been thinking alot about where I was a year ago and it's so crazy because it feels so long ago. A year ago I was still with Livi, the one person that I truly loved despite the fact that he treated me like total crap. On Thanksgiving last year I found out that he was cheating on me. This time last year we were getting better although I honestly couldn't forgive him for his wrong doings.
Also a year ago, I had Apache, Macy's huge paint gelding. He was alot of fun to ride even though I didn't know very much. I loved horses and still have a passion for them yet I was green. I didn't have the confidence \needed....
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Barely any sleep? Sounds typical.
Buenaaaa mis ninos, amigas, y amores,
Tonight's update won't be very long of course since, as usual, I'm exhausted, it's around 1 a.m., and I have 8 a.m. class in the morning. Buttt, the point is, I've been in attempt to keep this blog every day. This will be difficult on weekends that I go home.
Speaking of going home, my little Vaquera is getting sent home. :( Donna still thinks that my little princess isn't mentally ready for this stuff. There's definately some truth to those words but there's alot of unfairness in it too. Other horses that are way worse off than Vaquera get to stay yet she doesn't? Annoying. This is going to force me to go home alot these next eight weeks so that I can work her at home. She's doing so amazing. We can ride in an open pasture and everything. :)
That's enough of an update for now. I'm so tired. No mas de esta.
Tonight's update won't be very long of course since, as usual, I'm exhausted, it's around 1 a.m., and I have 8 a.m. class in the morning. Buttt, the point is, I've been in attempt to keep this blog every day. This will be difficult on weekends that I go home.
Speaking of going home, my little Vaquera is getting sent home. :( Donna still thinks that my little princess isn't mentally ready for this stuff. There's definately some truth to those words but there's alot of unfairness in it too. Other horses that are way worse off than Vaquera get to stay yet she doesn't? Annoying. This is going to force me to go home alot these next eight weeks so that I can work her at home. She's doing so amazing. We can ride in an open pasture and everything. :)
That's enough of an update for now. I'm so tired. No mas de esta.
A key ingrediant that the human race is missing.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
My Last First Day at BHE
Holaaaaaa,
This morning was my very last first day at Black Hawk East. It's insane to think that eight years ago it was my dream to be at BHE. I had drempt of being on the horse judging team and having a horse here to learn on while getting my Associate's degree. Although the plan/schedule has changed a half million times, I wouldn't change it for the world. BHE has been the perfect fit for me. I have a family here that I will never forget even if we can't stay in touch. I would do anything for them. BHE has pushed me to reach outside my comfort zone and just do it. My dreams have become more of a reality than just dreams anymore.
It's sad to think that in just 5 short months I will be gone. I'm going to miss everyone so much. :(
Today was the first time I worked Lucky, the nasty looking thing I'm supposed to run barrels on. Although he's supposedly a great barrel horse, he is in desperate need of some TLC. I pity this horse so now it's my turn to take care of him and pamper him. Maybe pictures soon??
Well I'm off to bed since it's back to school tomorrow. Joy!
Hasta luego mis amores.
This morning was my very last first day at Black Hawk East. It's insane to think that eight years ago it was my dream to be at BHE. I had drempt of being on the horse judging team and having a horse here to learn on while getting my Associate's degree. Although the plan/schedule has changed a half million times, I wouldn't change it for the world. BHE has been the perfect fit for me. I have a family here that I will never forget even if we can't stay in touch. I would do anything for them. BHE has pushed me to reach outside my comfort zone and just do it. My dreams have become more of a reality than just dreams anymore.
It's sad to think that in just 5 short months I will be gone. I'm going to miss everyone so much. :(
Today was the first time I worked Lucky, the nasty looking thing I'm supposed to run barrels on. Although he's supposedly a great barrel horse, he is in desperate need of some TLC. I pity this horse so now it's my turn to take care of him and pamper him. Maybe pictures soon??
Well I'm off to bed since it's back to school tomorrow. Joy!
Hasta luego mis amores.
I find this so perfect for my entire life. I need to take more leaps. It's the only way to get somewhere you haven't been.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Short and Sweet
Just keeping things short and sweet tonight. To simply say that I have missed BHE is quite the understatement. Tonight reminded me that I do absolutely love my little family here. :)
This is going to be an amazing year.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Mi Vida para la Mes Pasado
I'm backkk! Christmas break is over and it's time for school again. In two days my butt will be glued to a seat and saddle. I'm ready for this semester though. It's going to be filled with so much more of my potiential.
Mi vida para la mes pasado has been quite an adventure, mostly due to a certain someone and a certain something.
-That certain someone cannot even be talked about at this point in time. I am so blessed to have been able to share a piece of my life with him and that's something I will forever treasure. He made me feel 'alive', a feeling that had been escaping me since April. Although he is no longer in my life, I appreciate what he unknowingly did for me and I thank the Lord everyday that He gave me this boy to remind me that it's okay to trust, believe, and hope for things that may seem out of reach.
That certain something is Vaquera. Although we certianly have had countless ups and downs with her, I absolutely adore her and cannot imagine a life without my little princess. Quera and I have made an incredible amount of progress over the past 5 months. She will continue to improve from the comfort of my pastures.
Mas Luego mi Amigas!
Mucho Amor.
Mi vida para la mes pasado has been quite an adventure, mostly due to a certain someone and a certain something.
-That certain someone cannot even be talked about at this point in time. I am so blessed to have been able to share a piece of my life with him and that's something I will forever treasure. He made me feel 'alive', a feeling that had been escaping me since April. Although he is no longer in my life, I appreciate what he unknowingly did for me and I thank the Lord everyday that He gave me this boy to remind me that it's okay to trust, believe, and hope for things that may seem out of reach.
That certain something is Vaquera. Although we certianly have had countless ups and downs with her, I absolutely adore her and cannot imagine a life without my little princess. Quera and I have made an incredible amount of progress over the past 5 months. She will continue to improve from the comfort of my pastures.
Mas Luego mi Amigas!
Mucho Amor.
Vaquera- September 2011
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